Welcome, it’s great that you could make it here tonight. This is the last time I will be sharing with you before I go back to Australia in a few weeks so I’m glad to be here with you.
This evening we will be hearing a bit about what the Bible teaches on forgiveness. I can’t cover everything in this short time but this will get us started. If you have a Bible, please turn to Colossians 3v12-14 where Paul is writing to the church in Colosse.
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
What a wonderful list of virtues! Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience and love. It is these virtues that enable us to forgive at all. How can we bear with one another, understand and put up with the human traits of each other, without kindness? How can we restore a fractured relationship without gentleness? How can we give each other another chance without patience? How easy it is to point our finger and blame another instead of offering a compassionate ear to listen and understand their situation. Humility enables us to apologise and be forgiven when we have wronged a brother or sister. And above all, explains Paul, put on love. Love is looking out for the needs of others before considering your own needs. And what a joy it is to know that we are dearly loved by God!
I have 2 main points that I want to talk about tonight:
1. God’s forgiveness, and from that,
2. How we can forgive each other.
God knows how we work so he had to tell us how forgiveness works.
The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbour his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay as according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103v8-12
The east and the west never meet. Once God takes your sins away, they really are gone. And He does not treat us as our sins deserve, he does not punish us when we go wrong. Why not? It is because of Jesus.
You see, at just the right time, when we were powerless, Christ died for the ungodly... God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5v6&8
While we were sinners. When we were needing forgiveness, God made a way possible. He is a holy God who must punish sin, and so out of love, Jesus, the man who never sinned, took that punishment on himself. Jesus himself, while holding the cup of wine, tells the disciples at the last supper, ‘This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.’ (Matthew 26v28)
When we drink the wine during communion we remember the forgiveness that Jesus brought about by his death on the cross. And how much we have been forgiven! When we come to Jesus in repentance and faith, God forgives ALL of our sins – the past, the present and even our future sins. Jesus died for the sins of the whole world. Once we understand how much God has forgiven us, it can become easier to forgive others. God’s forgiveness is our model to follow. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Repeatedly we sin, and yet God does not treat us as our sins deserve. Neither should we look for a way to get revenge or ensure others hurt too just because they have hurt us. We must leave vengeance up to God, if that is his will. It is not our place to make a brother or sister suffer for their sins. In 2 Corinthians, Paul addresses a situation where a brother has sinned and the rest of the church seem to be holding onto this man’s mistake. Paul says to the church, “Now instead (of reminding him of his sin) you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.” (2 Cor 2v7) Instead of revenge, we must forgive. In Matthew 6v14-15 Jesus makes it very clear as to why: 'For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive you.'
God forgives you when you ask. He doesn’t hold a grudge, doesn’t make you suffer for it (although you may suffer from the natural consequences of your sin.) But the second you ask, God pardons you in Jesus’ name and remembers your sin no more. And so we must forgive others.
So how does forgiveness look in our lives everyday? First I want to share a few things that forgiveness is NOT:
* Forgiveness is not excusing behaviour. Excusing says, "I see you couldn't help it or didn't mean it; you weren't really to blame." Maybe they acted in that way because that’s how their parents brought them up. But if someone has wronged you, saying that would be a lie. Forgiveness acknowledges that the behaviour is inexcusable but pardons the offender anyway. CS Lewis said that, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you." Sin is not excusable but it IS forgivable.
* Forgiveness is not suppressing your hurt, pretend you don’t mind. We can easily tell ourselves that the hurt we feel doesn’t matter. We should be slow to anger, but if we do not acknowledge the offence for what it is, we can never truly forgive it. Acknowledge that you are hurt and then choose to forgive the offender.
* Forgiveness is not blind trust. There is a big difference between forgiveness and trust; one is given, the other is earned. You may share an intimate secret with a friend, trusting them to keep it to themselves, only to discover they have told others about it without your permission. Recently, this happened to me personally and it is a very tough situation. I have chosen to forgive my friend and I harbour no anger towards her, but the relationship is not as it used to be and may take a long time to recover. Not everyone is trust-worthy, but everyone is worthy of forgiveness. People will let you down repeatedly and Peter knew this. Matthew recounts this conversation: “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.’” (Matt 18v21-22) There is no limit to God’s forgiveness and so neither should there be with us.
* You may have heard the term, ‘forgive and forget’. In fact you can forgive without forgetting. Forgetting means choosing to not bring up the past, but it doesn’t mean you must blank out the memory. God still knows all of our sins, but he decides not to remind us of them as he has dealt with them in the death of Jesus. In fact, Satan loves to remind us of our past sins. When he tries that with you, tell him that your Father remembers your sins no more and so neither will you!!!
So what is forgiveness? Forgiving is a choice. At the end of the day, you choose to let the hurt and anger go and restore the relationship. And to forgive, you can’t rely on your emotions. We can’t wait til we feel better to forgive as that may never happen. It starts with choosing to forgive and in time our emotions will heal. If we don’t forgive, and try to hold onto hurts caused us by others it turns into bitterness for us. It actually hurts us more to not forgive. The bitterness flows over into other relationships and spoils them too. So restore damaged relationships with forgiveness and I think you will find other parts of your life may improve too. If you are having trouble thinking kindly about someone who has hurt you, pray for them. Thank God for their good qualities and remember that he died for them too. Remember: compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience and love.
If you have not yet come to Jesus to receive forgiveness from God, make this your priority today. Only then will you understand the depth of forgiveness which will in turn restore and strengthen your relationships with others. Become one of God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, and he will forgive your wickedness and remember your sins no more!
